perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
