woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
