He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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