i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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