They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
