nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
