i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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