remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
