It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
