If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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