I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
