hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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