so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
