Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
