its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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