Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
