you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
