I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
