white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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