just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
