fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
