He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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