apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
