Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's shark week go big or go home
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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