Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
