Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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