go do what you do best...puke behind churches
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
