think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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