is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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