I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
