You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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