When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Operation Purity has been aborted
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
