The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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