I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
