I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
