Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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