Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
