sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
