I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
