thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
