That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
