Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
