now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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