my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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