remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
