3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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