Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
