is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
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