3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
