PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
