i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm always down for nudity.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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